Betrayal
by Richan MMI
Summary: Ron learns that the worse kind of betrayal is when you betray yourself, your heart, your mind, and your soul. Slash...hint of incest.


Betrayal

By Richan

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters within. JK Rowling and a whole other bunch of people do. Don't sue, I have nothing of value.

Warnings: character death, slash, hints of incest.  If you don't like that, don't read it! Don't flame me because I wrote something you don't believe in. It's something called the First Amendment...

AN: I have absolutely no idea where this came from. My dreams have been dark lately (because my anti-depressant isn't doing its job), and this is just one I put down on paper. (And I mean this is a dream I woke up confused – and disoriented – by.)

******

I watch as Madam Pomfrey tries frantically to save him. The potion she just poured down his throat caused him to scream in horrible pain, enough to threaten my eardrums to shatter. When he was first brought in, he was barely lucid, and still has not gained an edge on consciousness.

Turning my head, I look at my partner. We have agreed to do certain things in the midst of this war, and we know that they will understand that we have given everything for it.

The war has taken its toll on us. I have lost many people I cared for, and as I look to the man on the bed in front of me I am almost certain that I am about to lose another. His body is filled with wracks of pain, his too slender frame twisting and turning amongst sheets that were pristine white before he was brought in. Now, blood and grime have stained them to the point where they will never come out.

"We have to go," I finally heard my partner murmur to me.

I nod. What we do next is what we have to do.

We hurry up to my old dormitory, the one I was supposed to leave a week ago after graduation.

There was no graduation this year. As I said, the war has taken its toll. One of those was the loss of many brilliant students, especially as they were attacked on the last weekend to Hogsmeade over two months ago. Many of those I have shared the last seven years with are gone forever, although a few brave - or scared - souls have shown up at Hogwarts. Their ghosts have believed that Hogwarts is the last safe refuge from the dark forces that took their lives.

My thoughts have occupied my mind until I am standing in front of what was once the portrait opening to Gryffindor tower. The picture of the Fat Lady is no more, as well as many of those in the pictures. I believe only three are left, but as there are not many students to protect, I suppose Dumbledore has thought it worthless for a *portrait* to guard them.

I certainly have no need for a guard. I am eighteen, a man in the eyes of the world, and willing to fight for what I believe in.

Entering the common room, I look around the barren space that was once filled with the sound of laughter and fun. That changed in fifth year as more people started to realize that the dark lord was indeed back. By the start of this last school year, many of my - now former - classmates huddled in small groups, trying to make it through the year so that they could escape the country.

Surprising for Gryffindors, no?

That was more than some of the other houses. When my friends and I entered the platform at Kings Cross the previous fall, we were amazed at how few students there were. By the time we were seated in the Great Hall waiting for the sorting hat to sing its song we were in shock. The shock deepened when only four brave eleven year olds were all sorted into Gryffindor. That's it. The other three houses got no new students.

I should say the other two. By that time it was perfectly clear that there really was no Slytherin house anymore. Out of the couple hundred that had been seated the year before at the Leaving Feast, there were ten left. It was odd watching that sight, those few students being overwhelmed by the sheer size of their own table. A month later that table was gone, the few remaining had been granted their requests for a re-sorting, even the lone seventh year that had stayed in school was put into Ravenclaw.

I keep thinking about that as I search for what we have come. As I walk up the stairs to the dorm I lived in for seven years, I see the spot where I first asked my girlfriend to go with me. She was sweetly embarrassed at this, but still had enough laughter in her to ask where we would go on our next date, seeing as Hogsmeade was the only choice, and that year - fifth year - they had been cancelled. I remember my best friend snickering in the background as we walked down the few steps to the common room to find the rest of the house waiting for us. It seems as if they had been anticipating this day for a while, even though the two of us were pretty much clueless.

My search has now led me to the dorm, and now I know where exactly what I have been looking for is. I rifle through the trunk and pull the sheet of parchment triumphantly out. My partner nods his head, another signal that we have to act quickly now that we have it. As we leave, I stop for a brief moment to look out the window. I see the place where I first kissed my girlfriend, no longer recognizable from that day in the barren wasteland the school grounds have become. That was our spot, the same spot we declared our love for each other at the beginning of this past school year. The same spot where I asked her to marry me. The same spot I....

"We need to leave now." My partner finally pulls me out of my memories with a deep kiss. The love that I had then is much different from the one I have now. My partner is good to me, and in more ways that just working on a mission. This kiss is a good thing, as the memories are starting to get in the way of our mission.

Ten minutes later we are back in the infirmary. Just as my partner and I reached it, I had realized that it had taken us an hour to do our job, or at least the first part of it. It had worked out better than we planned, as the infirmary was empty of all but the patient we had come to see.

His face is calm now, no longer in the rictus of pain it had been in earlier. Soft skin, marred by bruises, was pale, with just enough tint in it to reassure us that he would be fine. What we had to do wouldn't work if he was going to die.

I pull the parchment out of my pocket, as well as my wand.

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good."

My partner and I watch as the black lines start to form on the weathered parchment, showing us where we are standing in the hospital wing. I look at it, trying to find the one other person we are looking for when I feel like I am being watched.

I look up to find a pair of glittering eyes watching us from the hospital bed.

"You won't find him." The voice that belongs with those eyes is surprisingly strong. I am surprised, considering that he was brought in here just over two hours ago close to death. I know that Madam Pomfrey is a good nurse, but I hadn't known she could work such miracles. The injuries he had received would have taken at least a week to recover from, not an hour.

"Why do you say that?" my partner asks.

"Because the moment you touched that, you were caught. That is not the map you were looking for, but a decoy. A trap." A different voice speaks now, this one from the doorway. It is Professor Snape, the potions master. He no longer has a house to be head of, but he still never gave us Gryffindors a fighting chance in his class or even through the castle. His black robes billowing as he went to stand by the bed, I was reminded of the first day I ever had him in class. He still wore the same expression as he gazed at my partner and I.

"Why did you do it, Ron?"

I look at the bed, where my best friend is slowly sitting up. Strange, I thought that Madam Pomfrey had said at first that there was a good chance she wouldn't be able to heal his damaged spine correctly. I get the feeling that this 'trap' as they called it was more pretend than anything else, right down to the life-threatening injuries he sustained earlier in the day. His black hair is as messy as ever, his green eyes as brilliant as ever. Now, however, they are looking deep within me, searching for my soul.

My partner, on the other hand, already has his wand out and is pointing it at the other two men. "We are leaving," he says firmly. "And you're coming with us, Harry."

The man on the bed shook his head. "No."

I look at him. "Yes, you need to come with us. It is important."

The green eyes glow a second before a strange sensation washes over me. It is close to being hit by 'stupefy' but I am still aware of what's going on around me. I can feel my body being sat in a chair, bindings being wrapped around me, as well as a charm that keeps me from escaping put on me. I don't recognize the words, thus lessening the chance of that ever happening.

When I recover from the blackness that had hit me, I looked to see Harry standing in front of my partner and I. His eyes were still glowing, a hint of untold power behind them.

My eyes widened when I saw this. It was at that moment that I knew everything I had been working for hadn't been worth it. My vision blurred for a few seconds as I tried to repress my emotions, but a lone tear escaped.

Harry was amused by it before a scowl formed on his face. "I trusted you with my life, Ron." He turned to my partner. "Percy, I thought that you would have understood what all of us were working for. I guess the both of you have forgotten what your family was striving for."

"It was for my family that we were doing this," I shouted at him. I could feel my cheeks warm in anger and I knew that they were bright red, matching the hair I, and my brother, have inherited.

"Really, Weasley." Now it was Snape talking. "I fail to see what betraying your best friend would have done for your family."

"Our master told us that they would be spared when he finally won!" Percy was the one now shouting.

"Master!" Harry spat the word out as he leaned over me, leaving only two inches of space between our faces. "Some friend you were, *Ron,* that you had to go and sell your best friend to protect your family, when you should have realized that you now have no family."

"What?" Now I am really angry. "Have they been killed by their foolish actions as to believe that they can win this war without joining the master?"

"No." Another new voice, one that I know very well. The red hair that tops the body is the same as mine. "You are no longer part of it."

Bill.

He is joined by what is left by my family: Charlie, the twins, and Mum. All of them are wearing stony faces but Mum. Her eyes are harder than diamonds as she looked at Percy and myself. I cringe at the sight of those blue eyes that have looked at me with love for eighteen years.

It hits me as I realize what it is I have done. My throat constricts as I try to hold back a sob. It breaks free as my mother slaps my face.

"How could you?! How could the both of you betray everything your father and I worked for?" I close my eyes, trying to rid myself of the sight of my mother in full rant mode. I know that this will be far worse than everything I have ever seen from her, worse than when she found out that the twins had really opened their joke shop in Hogsmeade the fall after they graduated. Harder than the grief she showed when Dad was killed eight months ago.

A sob reaches my ears and I open my eyes to find my mother has all but collapsed in Bill's arms. I am guessing that even her mentioning my father has torn her up. That reminds me of why all this started.

"Because he - " I shoot a glance towards Harry, " - killed Ginny!"

This time it is a punch that lands on my face from Charlie. His work with dragons has given him more strength than I ever would have gotten with help from various potions, and it hurts like hell. I think he just broke my jaw. Maybe that was what he was hoping for, so that I couldn't talk anymore.

"What are you talking about?" Fred asked, the first sound that either he or George had made. "There's no way that Harry would have done such a thing!"

"He wasn't even around when she was..." George trailed off.

Percy snorted. "Precisely. He was off training with Dumbledore, who was more concerned with one student than the rest of the school combined."

A crackle of energy from Harry's direction stopped everybody in their tracks. "You blame me for that?" His voice was very soft with a threat woven into it. Both Percy and I shuddered at the sound as it raced through the room. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the rest shiver at it as well. "She was my sister in all but name! I would never have let that happened if I could have stopped it!"

I was amazed as I watch him as he walked towards me once more. His body has started to glow like his eyes.

"Dumbledore and I were fighting Voldemort himself when that happened," he finally said in that soft voice. "Your *master* stopped us from coming back to the school. When we realized what was going on - that it was a trap - it was too late. That was the day I felt abandoned by my best friend, because in their grief he and his brother were the only ones who didn't show up when I laid in this very room surviving the killing curse for the second time!"

Now I am shocked. And saddened. "I didn't know," I whispered. "I didn't know."

Suddenly Bill was in front of me, his blue eyes, so much like my own, were piercing me through the mental armor I had begun to wear over the past year. "And I suppose you blame Dad's death on your best friend as well?"

"It was!" Percy began to sob. "It was.... All Dad had to do was stop...."

Mum slapped him then, hard enough to give him a severe case of whiplash. "Your father was stronger than you and Ron combined! I cannot believe that I raised such children." Her voice drifted off before she gave the both of us searing looks that burned me to the core. She hurriedly jerked up the right sleeves of both Percy and I, revealing what we had tried to keep hidden. The black marks glowed hideously, even as my eyes began to fill with tears.

There was silence for a long time after that.

When the voices started up, I found I couldn't focus on them any longer. The pain in my heart was starting to outweigh the pain in my jaw. I remembered the day that Ginny died. She, in her fifteen-almost-sixteen-year-old wisdom, had been planning to give Harry a special present in the summer for his seventeenth birthday and had been in Hogsmeade with many of her friends searching for it. I had still believed that she had a crush on him, but now I see that they had become brother and sister. It was while she was shopping that the village had been attacked, killing most of the students that had failed to make it to the horseless carriages that ferried students back and forth to the castle grounds. Hermione and I had just gotten back when word reached us of what was happening. Harry hadn't returned yet, and so we spent the next two hours searching for the both of them. We found out about Ginny, but I can't remember anything about Harry. I do remember, at one point, Hermione saying something about him and seeing him, but I was so wrapped up in the misery of losing my little sister that nothing really penetrated the fog that surrounded me.

Harry had been a better brother than I ever was to her, than I had ever hoped to be.

And now I have the knowledge that he survived 'Avada Kedavra' a second time. Which makes me mourn the death of Hermione, knowing that *I* was the one who cost her her life. I can still remember the look on her face when I pointed my wand at her just over a month ago. She was so surprised that the man who had just asked her to marry him was doing such a thing.

We had argued over the future. She wanted to stay and fight Voldemort, when at that time I had already made my choice, more than just made, contributed greatly to the losses at Hogsmeade the month before along with my partner, my lover, my brother. My right arm burned as I raised my wand when she refused to stay by my side and whispered those two words, the two words that took the last vestige of good in me.

That was the day I learned the true reason it is an Unforgivable curse. The moment you used it, you could no longer forgive yourself for your actions. Each second that passes I have to live with regret and fear and a myriad of emotions that I will never get rid of because of two words.

Suddenly I am brought to awareness as I feel my body being moved. I can sense that I am being hauled out the door by the twins as in the background I can hear Percy fighting Bill and Charlie. As we get to the door, I hear a soft whisper.

"Judas..."

That was the last word Hermione ever said to me. Now I know what she meant. I was willing to sell my best friend to his worst enemy, all for a bagful of nothing worth keeping. I opened my eyes, but couldn't tell who had whispered that. Maybe it was nothing more than my guilty conscious.

I looked back to see my best friend - my former best friend, as I couldn't see him ever forgiving me this transgression - talking softly with the Professor that had made our lives a living hell for the last seven years. And as I watched, the two leaned closer as their voices dropped to whispering until their lips met in a soft kiss that spoke volumes even as tears ran down Harry's face.

I was a betrayer, but I felt betrayed. I have betrayed myself. That was the affection I had been looking for all these years, and it was given to a man I thought I hated the most. 

Now I am the person I hate the most. I will never have the love that I know I so desperately wanted from my best friend. That was the reason I was always so jealous of him whenever something happened. Not because of his fame or fortune, but because I wanted him to myself.

How foolish I was to ever think that way.

I have turned into Wormtail, into Scabbers, into everything that I was not raised to be – all because I wanted to *be* somebody when I already was to a lot of people, family, friends. I cannot taint the perfection that is – was – will always be – my best friend.

I know that I will be sent to Azkaban, the same place where Sirius spent twelve years of his life. I also know that I will not last that long, for I know I am guilty. I just hope that death will not be as painful as life, but I'm beginning to think that death will be just as unfair as life was.


End file.
